18 September 2011

Broadcast in Widescreen (where available)

Easter Eggs?
Many years ago, back in the deep dark mists of time known today as the Nineteen Nineties, and at the time also known as the Nineteen Nineties, there used to be a man who stood at the top of Grafton Street, an English man, and he had with him an easel, a flipchart, and a microphone and loudspeaker. He would draw a square on the flipchart, and in the middle of the square he would then draw two parallel horizontal lines running from the top of the square to the bottom. Between these two lines he would then draw a number of black circles, and ask passers-by to identify what he had drawn.

Always up for a challenge and seeking to push the boundaries of my knowledge to the very limits of possibility (though only after ignoring him for most of the previous month) one day I stopped to hear more.

Taking a step back
The answer to this question was, somewhat disappointingly, a giraffe walking past a window. More disappointingly this turned out to be an ad for Jesus, because as all good sales people know nothing sells Jesus like giraffes. The Englishman would then explain that sometimes when it is difficult to understand something you need take a step back and look at the wider picture. Apparently god likes to play Pictionary, because he only reveals parts of his grand design in stages, the Old Testament was one stage, the New Testament another, and to understand the final piece of the puzzle you need to be born again, which apparently is akin to seeing a giraffe pass by your window.

I asked him if this approach made a pretty compelling case for Islam, since the Prophet received his revelations a good six hundred years after Jesus, so surely more of the picture was being revealed. The Englishman, who obviously hadn't read Flatland, said "No", and turned over his flipchart in contempt. Religious folk don't seem to like theologians, though to be fair I was pretty drunk at the time.

The Nineties were like that. Good times, good times.

Can you tell what it is yet?
The point of all this is that like the miracle of the passing giraffe, you too can now see the bigger picture here at Booming Back, and you won't even have to carry an oversized piece of cardboard with John 3:16 with you to any televised sporting event you may attend afterwards, we're pretty relaxed about such things here. As you may have noticed (unless you are reading this via your RSS reader, in which case you should click back to the website, its looking rather nice now) we've recently joined the 21st Century and gone all widescreen, since I figure you all have proper sized monitors now and can handle an extra 200 pixels or so. This move allows me to increase the size of uploaded photos by 50%, all the better to stun you with my mad photography skillz (actual skillz may very, madness not a guarantee).

If this upgrade has any negative impact on you, like breaking your internets for example, please let me know. Unlike Google, who will casually tell you that your browser is no-longer supported for being old and sooooo un-cool (don't listen to them Camino, we still love you), I do care and will try to make things all better, perhaps with a Temple Grandin hug thrown in for good measure.

If you said "a giraffe", you'd be wrong, though I see why you might have thought that. If on the other hand you said "a Renaissance painting rendered in hand-painted wooden eggs by Oksana Mas, part of the Ukrainian Pavilion at the 2011 Biennale in Venice", then you'd be right, but it would have been a pretty lucky guess. A suspiciously lucky guess.
This upgrade happily coincides with a loverly new lens that I got just before heading away last week (a Tamron SP AF17-50mm F/2.8 XR VC if anyone is interested) on the recommendation of those nice people at Gunn's Camera shop on Camden Street. I had been looking at a Canon EF-S 17-55 f/2.8 IS for the last year or so but couldn't really justify it on the basis of cost-to-mad-photography-skillz ratio, so the good folks in Gunn's recommended the Tamron as an alternative (and less than half the price of the Canon). It is worth saying that while I certainly could have picked up either lens for less on the internets, the service in Gunn's is what keeps me coming back to buy equipment there; I am a light hobbyist by even a generous stretch of the imagination, but the time they give me and patience they show seriously outweighs any internets saving that could be made.

And isn't that exactly the sort of bigger-picture revelation that would make the blessed St Giraffe so proud?

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4 Comments:

At 9:08 pm, Anonymous Niall said...

Tres Jealous.

 
At 11:21 pm, Anonymous Felix said...

THANK YOU for providing a close-up of the wooden eggs, which I did not see at close quarters, but which greatly intrigued me from the "bigger-picture" perspective offered by vaparetto travel past said artwork.

Magnificent! And I love the anecdote about the giraffe, too. Giraffe walking past window = amazing metaphor for religion.... WTF?

 
At 2:56 pm, Anonymous Arjedre said...

So, no pictures of giraffes at all. This is my disappointment in widescreen. Perhaps next time giraffes rendered in cheese. (Although not rendered giraffes in cheese. Because that would be gross.)

 
At 5:34 pm, Blogger Unkie Dave said...

@Niall - don't be, it was a very poor drawing of a giraffe.

@Felix - and thank you for inspiring me to enbiggen my blog. It may not have been as radical an overhaul as you did on your own blog but I'm happy with it for now.

@Arjedre - I am soooo sorry. To make things up to you I have included not one, but two giraffes in today's post.

 

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