01 February 2011

He ain't heavy...

So the man voted most likely to destroy our country in one thousand days by his school chums has succeeded beyond his, and their, wildest expectations, and will today go triumphantly cap in hand for a brief afternoon drive through Phoenix Park for a cup of tea with the President, a quick chat, and a formal request to dissolve the worst Dáil in the history of the State.

A dark chapter in our nation's brief history draws to a close, the repercussions of which will still be felt for generations to come. Not Seán Lemass nor even Éamon de Valera can be said to have had as great an impact on the country when impact per day is considered. Even Bertie had eleven years to wreak his havoc, mighty Biffo destroyed our sovereignty, bankrupted our nation and sold our children into financial slavery all in a period of barely two and a half years.

It must therefore come as a great sadness to the good people of Offaly that their chosen son has decided that with his legacy secure, the time has come for him to stand aside and enter the happy world of retirement content that he has done his duty by god and by country. But where, oh where, shall they ever find a man as capable as Brian to represent them on the national stage? How shall they find someone with as much political skill and acumen, as deep an understanding of the challenges that their Constituency faces and the sheer charisma to be able to defend their rights against all ignominies as was personified in the body of Brian Cowen TD?

Step forward Barry Cowen, Offaly County Councilor and younger brother of the aforementioned Brian Cowen TD, son of the late "Ber" Cowen, TD, whose death in 1984 first placed the aforementioned Brian Cowen TD on the national stage when he inherited his father's seat aged 24.

This is everything that is wrong with this country in a nutshell.



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