16 January 2009

You can find me in da club, bottle full of bub

So, we seem to have arrived at the magical 300th post here on Booming Back. What ever shall we write abut today?

The Very Understanding Girlfriend has a thing about numbers, she gets quite excited about sequences, squares, cubes, primes, and other similar numerical events, in a way that occasionally borders on Rain Man. Given the fact that over the course of our life on this earth together I have appropriated some* of her interests and hobbies as my own, it seems only natural that this fetishistic numerology would rub off on me as well.

Today is the occasion of my 36th birthday. I have not been celebrating it, though I have not been avoiding it, it has been an altogether low-key affair and deliberately so. However it would not be accurate to say that it has not been weighing heavily on my mind. I have come to view my life as being a series of 4 eighteen-year quarters, fixating on 72 as being an average life expectancy**, so today marks the transition from the first half to the second half of my life. I have also officially been an adult for exactly half my life now, so I can be forgiven for having the occasional "well what exactly have I got to show for it all" thought or two this week.

If we were to break my life down into a series of quarterly reports, it might look something like this:
The life of Unkie Dave - Q1
Countries lived in: 5
Languages spoken: 2
Years of education: 14
Years of employment: 2
Stages shared with David Hasselhoff: 0

The life of Unkie Dave - Q2
Countries lived in: 2 (60% decrease over Q1)
Languages spoken: 1 (50% decrease over Q1)
Years of education: 5 (64% decrease over Q1)
Years of employment: 15 (750% increase over Q1)
Stages shared with David Hasselhoff: 1 (not something we like to talk about any more)
So overall Q2 seems to have been a bit of a disappointment in terms of key performance indicators, with only 'Employment' and 'Hasselhoff' showing any improvement, neither of which could be labeled as particularly fulfilling.

With only two quarters of my life to go, it is therefore time for the traditional big Q3 push, where the foundations of a strong Q4 are laid***, so although I have said on many a previous birthday that this will be the year that I figure out what it is exactly that I want to do with my life, I am absolutely positively without a doubt definitely certain that this will be the year that I do so.


Happy Birthday me.

* Like Monet, dance music, Apple Macs, writing, her friends, sustainability, vegetarianism, photography, the internet, breathing etc, etc.

** Of course in Ireland it is somewhere between 75 and 76 for a man. Also, both my maternal grandparents are still alive and in their late eighties. My paternal grandparents both died in their nineties, with my paternal grandfather playing golf every day until about a year before he died. I have a paternal great-aunt who is 102, and my maternal great-grandmother (whom I had the pleasure of knowing) died just shy of 100 when she fell down the stairs. All have been completely compos mentis and most had a full head of hair at the time of their deaths. I have never smoked, am an occasional drinker, a vegetarian, walk everywhere, and my BMI tells me I am the correct weight for my height (though not all of it is in the right place). All things considered I should be around and complaining for many years to come.

*** Although given the fact that I am now firmly in the summer of my life (stretching a wafer thin analogy even further, bracing for the inevitable snap as it is ripped apart by its own allegorical tension), I will no doubt instead be selfishly saying "screw the company, I'm taking a little 'me' time", and heading off for a few metaphorical weeks to enjoy the sun, sea and sand before I am dragged back kicking and screaming to the grindstone of my life, where I will sit desultory and dejected, trying to show passers-by my holiday photos and make them jealous that I was on holidays while they were stuck working in the cold and dreary office, mentally bemoaning the fact that my tan disappeared on the flight home and I have nothing left to show for my time away except a gaping hole in my bank account where my life savings used to be.



At 9:51 pm, Blogger Bill said...

Happy birthday & enjoy that summer vacation.

At 11:09 pm, Blogger Unkie Dave said...


At 2:12 pm, Blogger Ebauche said...

Totally missed that :(

Belated Happy Birthday Dude.

At 2:29 pm, Blogger Sarah said...

CSO have just announced that male life expectancy in Ireland has increased to 76.8 years. That means you've another 2.4 years before you reach that halfway mark and have to decide what to do with your life.


At 3:02 pm, Blogger Unkie Dave said...

@Sarah - wahoo! that takes the pressure off, back to dossing for the rest of 2009 so!


Post a Comment

<< Home

Older Posts... ...Newer Posts