22 April 2007

Browse it like Beckham

I have bought a woman's phone. Not a phone belonging to a specific individual woman, and not intentionally; rather I have somehow purchased a phone designed with the modern style conscious woman in mind and it is causing me more than a few problems. Let me describe the phone to you, small, black, three inch touchscreen, 2.0 megapixel camera and MPEG4 video camera, mp3 and widescreen video player; in fact one might be forgiven for mistaking this for an Apple iPhone, but in fact it is the all new LG KE850. Given that the iPhone is unlikely to make it's debut in Ireland this decade I decided to try out the next best thing, and I was willing to overlook the lack of wifi and web-friendly applications that I use every day (Google's GMail app and the mobile version of Earth are not compatible with it) for the sheer fun of touchscreeny goodness. Unfortunately I can no longer deny the unmistakable feeling of dread that started to creep up on me almost from the moment of purchase.

The problem starts with the fact that LG have cobranded the phone with Prada (yes, that Prada). Prada products can be associated with two key demographics, i) Women, and ii) David Beckham. Having been born with a number of left feet not less than two and the dexterity of a confused tree-sloth, that leaves me with one demographic left to belong to. The second indicator is the advertising campaign, as demonstrated by a full page ad in yesterday's Guardian magazine (shown above with my own phone for scale). No mention is made in the ad of the touchscreen, widescreen video player, mp3-player or any technical specifications; nope, in fact the best reason to buy this phone seems to be that it would offset your lip gloss in spectacular fashion.

Finally, and this I admit is the camel-destined straw for me, is the sheer amount of mockery that I receive when I am forced to make a call on it. Instead of the "Oohs" and Aaahs" that various gadget writers had promised the phone would elicit I am instead subjected to a barrage of "ha-ha, you bought a Prada phone". In fact the laughter doesn't even pause for long enough for me to amaze everybody with the touchscreen, the casual observer just can't get over the ridiculous mismatching of great technology with the mental picture of chihuahuas in handbags.

I have bought the Audi TT of phones.


At 11:06 am, Blogger Ebauche said...

Ah Dave. Did you not see the word Prada and get worried?

You'll have to trade it in. You're masculinity is at risk?!


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