29 November 2006

He's making a list, checking it twice...

On Sunday the Very Understanding Girlfriend bought a spoon. A big spoon. A giant wooden spoon. Hand carved by a Polish crustie, who sold them on Grafton Street with his equally crustie girlfriend while openly mocking the V.U.G. as she spent over twenty minutes choosing which exact giant spoon she would purchase. The spoon now sits on our floor, for it is truly too giant to sit anywhere else.

Unfortunately as it is now but four weeks to Christmas the Very Understanding Girlfriend is paralysed by the symbolism of giving herself a wooden spoon at Christmas time. Is her subconscious saying that she has been a very bad girl, and doesn't deserve anything nice from Santa this year? Is she destined to awaken on Christmas morning, (metaphorically) run downstairs to her stocking left hanging in seasonal anticipation over a geothermally heated radiator, only to look inside and find a solitary lump of coal?

Only time will tell.

But if I were her I would start being a lot nicer to small children, puppies, and the writers of Season Three of Lost, to whom she has not been very charitable at all lately (it's not their fault, they really are trying).


At 3:41 pm, Blogger arjedre said...

I think you're not fully appreciating the aesthetic and practical value of the spoon. With it's sweeping lines and swirls of grain it suggests an embrace between nature and necessity. And it will be unbelievably useful for stirring... ummm... giant pots of ... soup? Is the little hook thing on the end for the edge of the pot - to prevent the spoon for slipping in? If so, then extra points for irony! Nothing says Happy Christmas like an ironic spoon.

At 3:49 pm, Blogger unkie dave said...

While we do not have a giant pot, I am concerned about leaving the spoon in the vicinity of our giant wooden dish. If we have learned nothing from TV (which we haven't), we should be mightily concerned about the propensity of spoons to elope with dishes, under the ever watchful eye of astronomically inclined cows.


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